Here you are playing with the window light yesterday.
I’ve been singing this to you since you were no bigger than a football with your tiny fingers wrapping themselves around my thumb. Of all the creatures in all the worlds, I’m so glad it’s you I get to grow old with. I’m so glad it’s you. Two branches of one tree.
I love that it says to draw a family and you drew a mom and a child. There are definitely many different ways to make a family. You will always be mine.
Because who wants to settle on being just one princess?
We’ve been super busy the last couple of weeks. You finished up Pre-K. We moved houses. We’re starting all kinds of new “around the house” charts and tasks and attitude points, which you are responding so well to. You have a newfound love for legos and are working diligently on all your art projects, of course. Our area was affected by the tornado. All of it makes me want to hold you so much closer. We’re so lucky that none of our loved ones were hurt. As a mother, it really shook me up to watch the news stories knowing full well that it could have just as easily been you. I am so grateful for your presence in my life. I love you so.
SPGT Kids is looking for 2 kids to model shirts for its Summer 2013 Catalog! The winners will receive a hoodie or cardigan of their choosing in addition to the shirt being modeled.
What were looking for is someone with access to a 2-6 year old to take a couple photos of the little one wearing a new screen printed tee for our catalog that will be distributed to stores, magazines, and other media outlets. (Preferably with access to a DSLR camera.)
To enter please email firstname.lastname@example.org, subject CATALOG CONTEST, with an example of your photography and a brief one to two sentences why your little one should be a SPGT Kid.
Contest ends 5-25 and winners will be notified by 6-1.
Thanks and Good Luck. -Bobby
Any photographers have a little babe or know a little babe who would be interested in being a spaghetti kid? Scarlet did some modeling for them in 2011 and is going to be doing some stuff for the new catalog too. She’s pretty stoked about it.
I remember sitting in that tiny apartment in a creaky wooden chair that your dad and I painted red and black one afternoon. I remember spreading newspaper all over our kitchen floor and doodling little stick people in love and apples with paint on our chairs. We were kids in a clubhouse, babies. The chair was janky and I was rocking in it back and forth, scanning wikipedia. There was snow outside and I was listening to The Beatles on youtube before there were ads. I was maybe 2 or 3 weeks pregnant. I found out so early. I simply felt plural. Your presence was so strong, even then. I had no idea if you were a boy or a girl, except that I did. Scarlet. The minute we said it out loud there was no argument. It’s just who you were. Wikipedia told me that it was the official color of flames and blood. I thought of passion.
I had one wish for you, it’s the same one I have today. I want you to live passionately. I want you to find something specific that you care about and run with it, to change people with it. To affect and be affected. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. In a way, I feel that you’ve gotten a running start. You already do it. You have this actually unbelievable charisma. I have no idea where you come from. Light and life beams out of you like some sort of natural force. You’re amazing. I know that I’m biased, but I do believe that to be true either way. You’re special. Your presence is strong, specific.
I know exactly the way you looked when they first put you on my chest. I don’t mean how you looked to me, I mean how you lookedat me, the energy you were putting out. There’s a light in those eyes, it was there then and it’s still there today… even after everything we’ve put you through. I don’t have a lot of constant things in my life. My life has always been a revolving door of people, not many constants. That’s why I do things like get emotionally attached to shoes and get sad when I break a nail that’s been around for awhile. I don’t like it when things go away, when eras end. But that energy is constant.
Maybe that’s why joint custody is such a hard thing for me. You are my baby. I grew you. I’ve nurtured you since that day you first looked up at us. It’s funny, you think that I would have looked down at you like “I got you.” And, I do. Until the day you die, I got you. But when I think back on that moment, that is not what I remember. I remember you looking up at me like, “Hi. I exist. I’m real and I’m here and I got you.” That’s not fair. It’s not fair to put that kind of pressure on a child. I am not your responsibility. I don’t think I consciously do it. But it’s your spirit, you look out for people. You always have. Your middle name is Aurora after the northern lights. It’s so appropriate. You are passionate intriguing light.
Scarlet Aurora, I am so proud of the human you decide to be everyday. Raising you has been the greatest privilege of my life. I’m proud of your courage and ambition, the way you cope and take care of the people around you. I love your absolutely contagious happiness. My brain never could have wrapped myself around the brilliant human you’d become back when you were just a name. You are so much more than that.
I think that’s why when I see little things that you bring home from school with those letters sprawled across them, S C A R L E T, my heart flutters a little. Scarlet Aurora. That’s who you were before you even were at all.
About a month ago you asked if you could have a “circle mohawk” again. I told you to think about it because you’ve been growing your hair out for so long and I didn’t want you to regret it. On Sunday night I told you I had a hair appointment with Allison the next day. You asked if you could get your hair cut like that again, but you were laying down for bed and not supposed to be talking so I ignored you. The next day you asked twice, so I finally said I didn’t care and that you look beautiful whatever you decide. The last time your hair was like this you weren’t in school yet, I was so nervous about kids being cruel. I walked you to school on Tuesday morning and stayed awhile to make sure everything was going to go smoothly, which it did. When I picked you up you said, “Olivia liked my hair. She said she didn’t want her hair like this, but she liked mine like this. And we’re still friends. That’ just like how I don’t want to have purple hair like Allison, but I love Allison’s purple hair. You don’t have to have all the same stuff as your friends.” Wise beyond your years, baby child. I’m so proud of you and how you have the courage to be exactly who you want to be, despite any other outside influences. While we’re on the topic of gender, when I was at parent teacher conferences a few months ago a mom of this little boy approached me. She told me how he wanted to paint his nails and go to school. She let him. When he came home he said, “Scarlet loved my nails, Mom!” I’ve never been so proud.
Here you are posing with the Mother’s Day card you made me. It seems as if somebody has been listening to Bright Eyes lately. :) We also went to the Canadian river flood plains for Mother’s Day and had the best time falling in the sand and swimming around. I got so completely lucky when the universe decided that it was you, it was you who I got to be the mother of. It was always you.
The other day when I went to run your bathwater you doodled this on the back of my grocery list. Even though this pooping and peeing dog only proves your potty talk obsession, I’m still proud of you for drawing it in like two minutes.
Recently I got a job. It allows me to spend most of my time with you still, but occasionally you have to stay with one of our other friends. I’m not exactly crazy about the idea of daycare and am so lucky that we have trustworthy people here who are willing to hang out with you and care for you. Whether it’s Bobby, Cody, Kalie, or whoever. I’m really proud of how well you’ve behaved for them and always excited to see the pictures and hear about all your new adventures.
Since the weather has gotten warmer, and the days longer, we’ve hardly stayed under a roof. We’ve had trips to our favorite hiking trail, long evening walks, trips to the park with Osa, orange water from the red dirt soaking in our skin, and giant works of chalk art. We even made our own drive-in movie theatre the other day where we rolled the big tv to the door and set up the lawn furniture and carseat up like a car, popcorn included! We turned the volume all the way up on ParaNorman and watched as the world got darker around us. It’s incredibly important to me that you get acquainted with the outside world and nature. We have this thing we do where we will be walking barefoot through the park or wherever and we’ll call each other over to feel a particularly soft patch of grass. “Come feel this one, Mom! This one is soo soft.” I’m glad you have an adventurer’s heart, that’s all.
Thank you. Thank you for being my constant. Thank you for continually reminding me how beautiful I am. Thank you for keeping me grounded. Thank you for remembering so much and so well, even more than you should be able to do. It makes me feel a hundred percent less alone. I can explain that more when you’re older. Thank you for keeping me goofy. Thank you for reminding me the relevance of little things. Because, in the end, they outweigh the big things tenfold. We’re all just a bunch of little things. Little cells. Small ideas that bloom into behavior. Little ambitions that eventually start making choices for us. Small details like the way the socks slip across hardwood floors or cold river water feels splashing against your ankles eventually end up making your entire memory. Maybe there’s no such thing as a little thing anyway. I love everything you’re becoming. Please know that. I’m so proud of you.