I didn’t plan on being a mother when I was 19. If my life were a story, that’s not a chapter I would have willingly written. I didn’t pick this, but I would never ever change it. It’s not a part of my story I would even consider editing. I have absolutely no idea who I would be without you or what I would be doing. I was selfish before we met, I was a bratty kid. You turned me into a woman. You taught me about patience and gratitude. Your father and I probably would have never made an honest effort to stay together if you weren’t in the picture, and I’m so glad that we did. I had a lot of amazing years with him, and that’s on you. I learned so much from our marriage. His decision to join the Air Force for you moved us to Oklahoma where we met some of the most genuine and quality people I’ve ever had in my life. I can’t express how excited I am that they’re a part of your life as well. We wouldn’t know them if it weren’t for you. You’ve been there with me through everything, I’ve known you my entire adult life. We grow together. We learn together. We face the ugly and experience the amazing parts of life together. You’re my constant. My only constant. You’re a part of me, like a baby kangaroo in my pouch. I’ll protect you. I’ll keep you company. I’ll comfort you. I don’t know where I’d be without you, Scarlet, but I’m so so happy not to be there. Of all the humans in all the worlds, I’m incredibly grateful that you’re the one who I get to call my daughter. I love you. - Mom
Right now is Friday night webcam photoshoots, sparkle manicure parties, watching Coraline for the millionth time, googling pugs, talking about our favorite parts of Brave, drawing monsters, talking about Halloween costumes and kitty litter cakes, growing old together. Thanks for making my life what it is, my little fox. You’re the love of my life. - Momma Fox
We’ve been super busy the last couple of weeks. You finished up Pre-K. We moved houses. We’re starting all kinds of new “around the house” charts and tasks and attitude points, which you are responding so well to. You have a newfound love for legos and are working diligently on all your art projects, of course. Our area was affected by the tornado. All of it makes me want to hold you so much closer. We’re so lucky that none of our loved ones were hurt. As a mother, it really shook me up to watch the news stories knowing full well that it could have just as easily been you. I am so grateful for your presence in my life. I love you so.
Yesterday we went to the lake we frequent. We spent the day discussing the killer freshwater octopus that’s rumored to lurk in the waters, the two fishing bobbers that hang in the tree like ornaments, and what would happen if we just stayed out there floating for the rest of time. I think I could live like that, just floating with you forever… singing fall out boy and screaming at boats, laughing and chasing each other around. That could be my entire life, but honestly I’m just so happy that it gets to be a little part of it.
This week you are a Kindergartener. I can’t believe it. The morning before you left I gave you a card with a little fox and all his school gear on the front. I will just copy what I read aloud to you from the card here.
To my Little Fox on her very first day of school:
I love you tons and I am so proud of you already. I know you’re going to take that great big beautiful brain of yours and use it to do wonderful and extraordinary things in this world and in your academic career. I’m completely honored to be able to watch you grown and learn and have the opportunity to see you grow into yourself and change the world.
Absolutely all of my love, forever.
- Momma Fox
You wore a vintage dress that we picked out from an etsy after weeks of scouring the internet for the perfect first day attire. When it came in the mail you were so excited. You loved those socks, called them your Junie B. Jones socks. Ultimately, your outfit isn’t important because I know that you are going to do so well in school. I can’t express my pride.
On the evening of your birthday, after Cody left and before our friends came over, that we were alone. At 7:18 each year, the minute of your birthday, we take a photo together and listen to Blackbird by The Beatles. You already know that that’s the song you were born to, I’ve told you that story a thousand times in all the different ways I can think of. This year we slow danced. I cried, of course. I can’t believe the universe has offered me one second with you, let alone six years. I lucked out, kiddo. Glad to have you here, that’s all.